Change of Season

I can't believe fall is almost here! The leaves are changing to red, gold and orange and the grass is losing its rich green color. When seasons change it always reminds me of how God changes our "spiritual" seasons as well, although they may not go in the same order of mother nature. I love having all 4 seasons here in Oklahoma it makes me appreciate each season but yet look forward to the next. I think of that spiritually as well. God may put us in the desert for a while but He won't leave us there as long as we continue to find "water" so we can survive! God may put us in battles but will never forsake us as long as we trust in Him. I'm in a season of "wanting more" of Him but at the same time I get discouraged because I feel like many others are just riding in the boat while a few of us are paddeling vigorously through rough waters to get more of Him. I know, can feel that God is going to make big changes within myself and my family. Right now we are being patient or at least trying to be, to see what God has waiting for us at the end of the "rough" ride. God has been speaking to me more than ever and in many different ways such as dreams, music, and conversations with other people. I feel like I've gained a confidence within myself in the last year that I've never experienced before, and I'm loving it because it allows me to converse with people a lot easier about everything and most of all about God. I can't wait to see what God is going to reveal in the next several months, but I guess I will wait, besides there is nobody better to wait on than God!

God Is Good

A very unorganized blog entry! Just typing whatever comes to mind!

I've recently been thinking about why people choose to live the life they want to live and then blame God when things don't go the way they want them to go. I think most of us have been in that place before at some point in our life. For example I've got a relative that thinks I've always just had things handed to me, not true, being faithful to God always ends up in a blessing of some kind, whether financially, physically, mentally and of course spiritually. My relative chooses to live the life that he wants to live and not the life God wants him to life and therefore has never had stability or peace in his life. I think it's obvious what the problem is in his life and you'd think somebody would get tired of living that life especially when there's more in God. Sometimes we want God to bless us and take care of us when we don't do anything in return for Him. I think sometimes people want a "convienent" God, for example when something goes bad, we expect God to show up and take care of the problem and sometimes He does, He proves Himself and then we go live the life we lived before He took care of the problem. That doesn't make much sense to me because you'd think that would make somebody to want to serve God more seriously. Gosh, if I sound harsh I'm seriously not trying to be, I'm just speaking from what I've seen. God is God and living life for him isn't always easy, it wasn't intended to be, that's when faith comes in to push us through obstacles in life. I try to live the life God wants me to live and do the things He wants me to do, and sometimes there are sacrifices to make to satisfy God. For example, if I have to sacrifice a friendship to save their life then that's what is right. I don't try to "fake" my relationship with God, I try to stay true to who I am in God because He knows the desires of my heart. I know that God is good and faithful and can testify that for my own life and I'm extremely grateful for all the blessings in my life and in my family.

Sometimes unexpected gifts are some of the best (of course I'm talking about Jaxon because the Down Syndrome diagnosis was unexpected). Everyday Jaxon wakes up with a huge smile on his face and he makes me smile in return. It's nice to start a day off like that. I love looking at Jaxon in my rearview mirror because when he sees me he smiles so big and sometimes it'll make me emotional. Just seeing that joy in him makes me think about how God want us to feel with Him.

I love to hear the laughter of my kids, Jaylyn has got a smile so big that sometimes you can't even see her eyes! Hearing their laughter reminds me that we are children of God and he also loves to hear our laughter. God wants us to have fun in His presence, we don't always have to be so serious. Jaxon and Jaylyn love jumping/dancing (he actually sits while she jumps) on the bed and again this reminds me of how God loves to watch his children jump/dance in his presence.

Well one more thing....
Just over the past couple of months God has put several people in front of me that normally I wouldn't have any connection with. Just today I met a woman at Walmart, she asked "How old is your baby?" I told her, "19 months." She got tears in her eyes which made me emotional also and she said, "My sister has down syndrome and she's 40, I'm drawn to DS children. Keep your head up, I admire you, he is precious." She hugged me and said, "God bless you." It was such a encouraging conversation and I know God arranged that meeting because this has been happening a lot lately! I think there is always a connection with somebody when they have experienced some of the same things as you do and that makes it much easier to relate to each other. God is good and I'm looking forward to my next "meeting"!